LWS November Issue "Mommy"

Maiden Mother Crone


By Christine Schultz

It was at her annual visit when Caroline’s doctor said, “You’re at the optimal age for motherhood.” She was twenty-nine. Somehow and maybe even against her “better judgement” her biological clock heard that. A few months later, she was pregnant. This was a big change from the model/diva, and self-serving, carefree globetrotter she had been. She and Nick married even though she knew the tall, green-eyed, gregarious, swarthy Greek wasn’t ready to be married, or to be a father. She was confident enough to know she could raise the child alone if necessary. He was born in Athens, Greece in August of 1996.

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During the chaos of heading to the hospital to birth the child, Caroline was sure Nick would be with her. He was not. Several residents in training were there, though, along with the doctor, all watching between Caroline’s legs. They were mumbling in Greek about her comments. She hadn’t been given an epidural and was using some fabulous English expletives. She listened as they tried to hide their laughter while translating to each other what she was saying.

During the final minutes, Caroline wasn’t breathing properly. She and the doctors panicked for a moment when the baby’s heartbeat was weak. But, within a minute of breathing on his own, he was pink and perfect. Caroline relaxed as she held her baby boy for the first time.  

Motherhood dramatically shifted Caroline’s perspective. She felt, for the first time, important like never before. Protectress, and nurturer were her new charges in life. She became the sole provider as Nick fell away that first year. Without modeling, things became financially challenging in Greece. She had her family to help support her back in the states so decided to move them to small-town USA. Caroline found a job as a social worker, and that allowed her to be able to purchase a sweet little home in that midwestern “two-horse” town.

Caroline read to him every night before bed in that house. She found joy in shopping for shoes, outfits, backpacks and bikes. She made yummy school lunches, and was a typical soccer mom. She created experiences for him including his trips back to Greece so that he would know his father. She watched him meet every milestone, develop his personality, interests and talents. She adored her boy and the job of being mommy. All decisions she made were with him first. Becoming a mother from the moment he was born and for the duration was abundantly fulfilling; he became her main reason for being. She made some mistakes, and there were times when things definitely weren’t easy, yet Caroline refused to be a victim as a single-mom.

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As he grew and became more and more independent, she watched as motherhood became less and less demanding. She became mom instead of mommy and her role and responsibilities diminished. He graduated high school and went off to college, and her most difficult task of motherhood by far was letting him go…